Still figuring it out.
(Note to self: Just start typing.) I’m coming to you from my own little corner of the world with this first blog entry as a loving reminder of two things:
1. We are all doing the best we can.
2. We are still figuring it out.
Who’s the “we” you ask? E’rybody (in my best Southern accent). The cashier that won’t give you eye contact, yup. The dad that is chasing down his toddler for a bath, for sure. The teacher that is supposed to be helping to shape our future leaders and can barely manage to get out of bed at the sound of the alarm, oh yes. I’m in my mid-40s and I feel like I’m just starting to understand myself. Everything from the clothes that best fit me, skincare that won’t declare war on my face, to embracing the gentle voice that God gave me and why I’m going through one of my toughest seasons of motherhood.
I’ve had this phrase ringing in my head for the last year, “Still figuring it out.” It could be Holy Spirit’s way of reminding me to be gentle with myself. Somehow I managed to mold it into my best excuse for not starting this blog. Why would I want to write to others while I am still figuring it out? Maybe because you are too. Maybe God wants us to walk alongside each other, so I don’t get intimidated by you and you don’t compare yourself to me.
The other phrase I wanted to share was something that came as a response, when our foster kiddo would get anxious when milestones and holidays were coming up. Her little heart wanted to know, “When will I get to see my mom?” Between all the people, schedules and moving parts I would tell her gently, “We are all doing the best we can.” It became one of my go-to phrases. Even months after she’s moved out, I find myself telling weary souls, including myself, the same thing.
There are pages and pages in my journal that have brought me to this moment. Too much to share all here, you know. It’s like, only our first date (literaturely speaking). We all start somewhere, with what we have and maybe a little trembling. We’re going to get to know each other along the way and I’m looking forward to it. Most people that know me, know that at some point in our relationship, I’m going to send you a link, a meme, a podcast or pray with/for you, so get ready.
Talk soon, I’ve got to go dry my hair.
Still figuring it out too,
Father, wherever this post lands, would you give my friend a space to process what they are feeling. Give them an understanding that You see them doing their best, even when they are falling short, you see every effort. Would you help them see what You’re showing them and hear the words You are speaking to them. Thank you for walking with us, You really are the best!
What I’m reading/listening to:
Growing Boldly by Emily Ley, Psalm 139 & 145
Song on repeat:
Bitter/Sweet by Amanda Cook
Blog entry No. 1
We all start somewhere, with what we have and maybe a little trembling.